November 15, 2012 /24-7PressRelease/ -- Parents (especially the non-primary parent) in a divorce or after divorce often want to create exciting plans and initiate entertaining outings or activities for the visitation time with their children. Although understandable, this may not produce the best outcome.
In a divorce situation, the children want to feel that the non-primary parent's home is truly their "other home." Thus, the children need a home that offers them a space that is their own arranged with belongings that are their own. The children will need responsibilities and chores to feel a part of the family and household as well as boundaries, rules, discipline and a routine. Offering kids zaniness with Toys-R-Us shopping sprees, marathon video gaming, and going to the amusement park or zoo and filling them up with ice cream is better left to Uncles and Grandparents.
The non-primary parent can use their time with their child as an opportunity to shape their child's character, bond with their child, build upon their relationship with their child in a meaningful way, and parent their child rather than be an interruption from their child's development and structure. All children thrive from structure, but children experiencing divorce need the stability more than ever.
What your children want most is to spend time with you, and expensive outings and frantic activities don't always make the best quality time together. The most important thing to remember is that you need to set the routine for the weekends. Routine creates stability and your children will need these qualities to make them feel secure.